Tiger Tiger Woods, Ya’ll

Being the type of guy that watches shows like Real Housewives and Teen Mom, it’s easy to assume that I’m not the biggest golf fanatic. To me the most exciting part of golfing is driving around in the golf cart and drinking gin. So imagine my surprise when my good friend Sarah invites me to the Bridgestone Golf Tournament that takes place here in Akron. Mostly confusion and…well more confusion. Then she tells me that Tiger Woods is playing and my confusion quickly turns to excitement and hope. Hope that i’ll get to see Tiger grope or flirt with a waitress first hand…I’M IN!

I don’t think we could have stood out anymore than we did upon arrival. In a sea of khaki and fanny pack, we were the plaid and tie die (literally) amongst the group. I’m pretty sure I was the only male there not wearing a polo. I actually took the time to count how many I saw, and I had to stop at 4,000,000. With neither of us being golf fans at all we had no idea where we were going or what we were supposed to do. “Do we just follow the groups of people?”. “Do we sit in the stands?”. “Are we even aloud in the stands?”. “How do you know who the famous ones are?”. “Where the hell is Tiger?”. After a few hours of walking in circles and sweating, we finally started to get the hang of things. The golfers hit the ball, the ball flies twenty thousand feet down a field of grass, and you follow like cattle. We also had a guide with the athletes faces on it, so we were able to play “guess who” with the most famous golfers in the world. For most of the day we were like two blind people trying to explain a silent film. By the end of the day we were commenting on the players golf swings, and could tell who all of them were just by the color of their pants (it was pretty impressive). We were actually enjoying the golf!

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ImageGolfing is fun for everyone today!

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After a few hours of walking, eating lunch, and having a drink, the most exciting part of the day was about to ensue. We had heard form a few people that Tiger was finally there and if we made it to the right place at the right time we could be lucky enough to see him. We walked for what seemed like a decade (Sarah’s feet blistered and bleeding) and finally we ran into a gigantic group of creepily quite people. In the golf world exteme silence means something extremely exciting is about to happen. The biggest lesson I learned that day was that the larger the heard, the more famous the golfer. The largest heard meant they were following the biggest golfer in the world. Simply wanting to see Tiger golf quickly turned to us hunting this man like he had a million dollar check written in our name. With the confirmation from an avid golf fan next to us, we were there. Our prey was ready to be pounced, and my camera…was dead. Silly me left it on while drinking a gin and tonic, so I had to use my IPhone.

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So there you have it folks, the Bridgestone Golf Tournament from the inside. Dare I say, I will be watching on TV today?

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