Big Brother Update: Derby hats and lube

Last night the house guests were interrupted from their usual schlepping around the house in sweat pants and slippers to reveal another twist. The coaches were informed by the Chen-Bot that not only are their teams competing each week in competitions, but so are they (the plot is officially thick). The competitions are extremely important to win, not only for the vets egos, but also because it brings a great deal of power. The coach who wins the competition gets to…

• Choose a member from their team to be safe from eviction
• Choose who will be haves and have-nots from their team

The first coaches competition was Derby themed. The coaches chased each other around in the back yard on a plastic tarp covered in sudsy lube. They did this all while wearing hoarse costumes and weird ninja shoes. I prayed, but god must have been busy tweeteing because Mike Boogie won. Mike ended up choosing Ian to be both safe and a have not to be fair (because Mike is such a fair person). Ashley was the second have not chosen.

There is an obvious line drawn in the sand when it comes to the judges. Britney and Janelle are working together, and so is Dan and Boogie. It’s still unspoken at this point, but everybody knows. Janelle is seeing through the eyes of Uma Thurman in kill bill right now when it comes to Boogie. She wont stop until she has his head key. Britney and Janelle convince Willie that Frank and Kara need to be put up first.

Live feed and After Dark

• Ian and Ashley went on a weird “date” set up by the house. Joe used his only worth while talent and made slop pudding and mouse cocktails. Ian used the date as an opportunity to talk game with Ashley, and she used it as an opportunity to play coy.
• Janelle and Britney spend most of their free time drilling game into Willie’s extremely thick skull because he doesn’t seem to understand simple things. Must be the Louisiana air.
• JoJo and Ian seem to be the house guests driving everyone to equal insanity. JoJo talks non stop about herself and how hot she is. Ian is pompous and in your face. He’s also just generally weird.