Big Brother 15 Cast Introduction.

Aaryn GriesToken Southern Bell

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Aaryn is the typical Big Brother “southern bell” type who you could classify as a model, but only if you used air quotes. She’s a 22 year old student born and raised in Texas, and claims to be excited to eat slop because she’ll “get in shape”. I could definitely see this girl using the showmance route to get to the end.

Amanda Zuckerman: Token Power Bitch

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Amanda is a 28 year old Real Estate agent from Long Island, currently living in Boynton Beach, Florida. She’s extremely confident, and seems like someone who would have no problem manipulating people into getting what she wants. She also hates floaters, which proves that she will give her all in competitions. I gave her the “power bitch” token merely because she seems like someone who would corner you in a bathroom with a cigarette.

Andy Herren: Token Gay

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Andy is a 29 year old stand up comic/ speech therapist from Houston, Texas. He’s a ginger, so right off the bat he’s got that going for him. He also seems to be very intelligent, and has plans to play a more strategic game than a physical one. I could see him being very entertaining on the show, and especially on the live feeds.

Candice Stewart: Token Pageant Princess/ Cheerleader 

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Within 2 minutes of Candice’s cast interview she goes right into her accomplishments as Miss Louisiana. I have a feeling Danielle Murphree will be calling in to vote for this girl during America’s choice week. She’s a 29 year old speech therapist who currently lives in Houston, Texas. She plans on using the game twist to her advantage (without even knowing what it is). It’ll be interesting to see how far she gets with that strategy.

David Girton: Token Surfer Bro

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I think Disney-Pixar had David Girton in mind when they decided to give a voice to the Ken Doll in Toy Story 3. He sounds like he’s doing a constant impression of Keanu Reeves circa  1989 in “Reality Bites”. He also compares himself to Jesse from Full House, you know, because his hair is his “thing” too. He’s a 25 year old lifeguard from California, and already has plans to hook up in the house. I have a feeling CBS cast him with that exact thought in mind.

Elissa Slater: Token Semi-Twist

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Elissa is the sister of Big Brother alum and winner, Rachel Reilly. She is a 27 year old yoga instructor and nutritionist living in North Carolina. She plans on not telling the cast about being related to Rachel, which means she’s learned nothing from Hillbilly Wily last year. She seems just as hungry to win the game as her sister, and has the same disdain for floaters as Rachel famously announced.

Gina Marie Zimmerman: Token Staten Island Girl

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Not only is Gina from Staten Island and obsessed with her Italian heritage, but she’s also a pageant coordinator. She combines two of Big Brother’s most prized stereotypes. She’s 32 years old and describes herself as a person who will “lay low” and “see how everyone works”. In other words she plans on floating to the end.

Helen Kim: Token Intelligent Asian

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Helen is a 37 year old political consultant and mom of 3 who currently resides in Chicago. Right off the bat she comes off as intelligent and likable, two things that will only help in her game play. She has also suffered and conquered a number of serious health issues, which means a weeks of slop won’t throw her off her game like some of the other houseguests. She plans on using her political background to sway votes in the house.

Howard Overby: Token Black guy

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As you would expect, the only black guy in the house is a “man of god” from Mississippi. He’s a 29 year old youth counselor who plans on playing a “moral game” (whatever that means). He wants to be the first person to play Big Brother without lying or cheating…good luck with that. I do believe that he will go far in physical challenges. He seems to be in great shape, and has his heart set on being the first HOH.

Jeremy McGuire: Token Guys Guy

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Jeremy is a 25 year old “hard working man” who lives and works on a boat. He is a Big Brother newbie who has never seen an episode of the show (that always helps). He describes himself as “a person who always worked when he was old enough”. Not a whole lot to this guy besides the amount of gel in his hair.

Jessie Kowalski: Token 20 Something

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Jessie is 25 years old, unemployed and currently lives in San Antonio, Texas. She is a Big Brother super fan who hopes to use the money to start her career. I tend to gravitate towards the houseguests who consider themselves super fans. It’s always good to know a little about the show you’re going to be on for 4 months. Jessie is extremely likable and has no problem manipulating her fellow players to get what she wants. I could also see her getting involved in some sort of showmance just to get ahead.

Judd Daughtery: Token Southern Guy

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Judd is a 26 year old property appraiser from Etowah, Tennessee. He plans on using his southern charm to get ahead in the house. He claims to struggle with how manipulative he should be in the house because he considered himself a “good christian”. Good thing he has Howard to help him through it. he plans on using the skills he’s learned in customer service to help him win the game. If that’s all it takes, then sign me up.

Kaitlin BarnabyToken Innocent Girl

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Kaitlin is a 23 year old bartender currently living in Minnesota. She was raised a devout catholic, and describes herself as sheltered. She has also not seen many episodes of the show, so she is going into the season blindly. Unless she can find herself a Jeff Schroeder I don’t see her going very far.

Nick Uhas: Token Douche 

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Nick is a 28 year old in-line skater (yes you read that correctly) currently living in New York City. He has so many jobs that the only way you could sum them up would be to call him and entrepreneur. He’s extremely cocky and has no problem talking about himself and all his accomplishments. He spends most of the time in his casting video explaining what it means to be a professional in-line skater but I had to pause it and move on…I’m only human.

Spencer ClawsonToken Red Neck 

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Spencer is a 31 year old construction worker from Conway, Arkansas. He describes himself as a person who has the “gift of gab” which basically means he’ll talk to the cameras when he’s alone for hours. He also has a giant red beard that he grew out specifically to fit into his roll has hillbilly on the show. Enough said.

McCrae OlsonToken Stoner 

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McCrae is a 23 year old pizza delivery driver from Zimmerman, Minnesota. He could easily be compared to Ian of last season, but with more adequate social skills. He’s extremely outgoing and also considers himself to be a super-fan of the show. I could see McCrae going far in the game based solely on the fact that he’s so likable.

 

 

Photos courtesy CBS.com

Big Brother Update: Bye Bye Jo Jo

ImageAs stated by Britney, tonight’s episode of BB is what this show is all about. The house has completely turned in power. The people who felt totally comfortable last week are literally shaking in their boots.

It is now a proven fact that Shane is nothing less than an absolute beast. He won the POV to take himself off the block last week, and tonight he won the HOH! If all it takes for Shane to go far in this game is to be stabbed in the back, than he’ll go far! Shane had a ton of animosity against Janelle last week, and now that he’s in power, I think she should be very afraid.

That’s not even the most exciting thing going on right now. We learned tonight that the coaches will more than likely be voted into the game. It’s up too America, and I don’t see them voting for them not too. Even if they do, CBS will more than likely take it upon themselves to put them in anyway, Florida recount style. This is the best thing that could possibly happen for someone like Dan. He only has one player in the game, and it would make sense for her to go up on the block.

Big Brother Update: Bye Bye Hillbilly Willie

ImageIn Willie’s Big Brother introduction video, he stated that he wanted to get in the house and really “shake things up”. I’m not sure he knew just how much he would actually shake up the house, and in the worst way possible. Willie is leaving the Big Brother house as a bully, bigot, and a sexist hick. He also left behind a bottle of axe body spray, which I personally find to be disrespectful and extremely rude.

Janelle won the coaches competition, and ended up choosing Britney’s team as the have nots (surprise). This apparently set Willie over the edge. He stormed around the house, claiming that he would not make it until Thursday on slop. He also told Brintey that he didn’t want to go out of the house with dignity or class. What is the deal with this guy? Joe walked past Willie, called him a pussy, and that’s when hell broke loose. Willie ran up to him and apparently head butted him. He then threw a pork rind in Janelle’s face, and was immediately called into the DR. It was clear from the beginning that he was nothing but a poison in Britney’s team, but that moment made it seriously official.

The house guests were called into the living room and were told by production that WIllie would officially be leaving the house for good. This is great for everyone in the house, but terrible for Britney. JoJo is on the block, and going home this week, and if Shane doesn’t win the HOH he’s going home too.

Live Feed and After Dark:

  • Last night Ashley walked into the bathroom and simply stated that she was sad because she missed Kara. She also brought up that Kara told her that Ian and Frank had a final two deal. This sparked and unbelievable about of fear in Jenn. Jenn went and told the entire house that Ashley was crying for Kara, and that she couldn’t be trusted. Frank, Janelle, Wil, and Ian confronted Ashley upstairs about it, and basically attacked her.
  • Ashley went downstairs and talked to Britney, Shane, and JoJo about how fed up she is with her alliance.

Big Brother Update: Fruit Loops and House Meetings

ImageThe first week of Big Brother 14 is showing itself to be, dare I say, the most insane first week in the history of the show. Huge fights have broken out and claims of homophobic slurs are being thrown around. Shit hit the fan and went splat all over the place.

The wrath of hillbilly Willie has completely run through the Big Brother house. Choosing Willie for her team is the biggest mistake Britney will make in this game. In a nutshell, Willie forced a village meeting on the house, and excluded the coaches. The idea of the meeting was to inform the players that they are in fact playing an individual game, and to not be bullied by the coaches. The contradictory thing is that he used bullying tactics to get the house guests to see things his way. Remember, Wil is the token gay and Willie is the token hillbilly. This gets confusing. During the meeting, Wil made a comment that he didn’t want to talk game for a minimum of 24 hours. Later on Willie made fun of what he said to Frank, and by mocking his voice Frank assumed he was being homophobic ( I’m just as confused as you are). 

Frank told everyone in the house that Willie was a homophobe, and thats when hell broke loose. Willie confronted him in front of the entire house, and exposed their alliance. Again, this did nothing but hurt both Willie and Britney’s game. Poor Brit is starting to look like one of those women you see at the grocery store who can’t control her child. The entire house is now against Willie and because of that people are steering clear of Brit. Janelle moved all of her stuff and hasn’t spoken to Britney since the fight happened.

Kara ended up being evicted, which was a surprise to literally everyone in the house. I don’t think an eviction has ever been more of a toss up, down to the last second. 

Later on, the house guests were shown being woken up in the middle of the night by a series of video messages on the TV. An overweight cat burglar was let loose in the Big Brother house, and did maniacal things like drink from the milk carton. They had to memorize everything he did, and the HOH competition was based around it. In an extreme twist of fate Frank ended up winning the competition, how ironic ( don’t you think??). Willie should now be shaking in his boots. 

Live Feed and After Dark:

  • Nobody in the house will talk to Britney, and she seems to be completely alone alliance wise. 
  • Janelle has chosen to side with Dan and Boogie (because that worked out so well in the past)
  • There was a huge house fight,  and Willie ended up threatening Janelle. He was either forced to go home, or left on his own. We will find out tonight.

Big Brother Update: Derby hats and lube

ImageLast night the house guests were interrupted from their usual schlepping around the house in sweat pants and slippers to reveal another twist. The coaches were informed by the Chen-Bot that not only are their teams competing each week in competitions, but so are they (the plot is officially thick). The competitions are extremely important to win, not only for the vets egos, but also because it brings a great deal of power. The coach who wins the competition gets to…

  • Choose a member from their team to be safe from eviction
  • Choose who will be haves and have-nots from their team

The first coaches competition was Derby themed. The coaches chased each other around in the back yard on a plastic tarp covered in sudsy lube. They did this all while wearing hoarse costumes and weird ninja shoes. I prayed, but god must have been busy tweeteing because Mike Boogie won. Mike ended up choosing Ian to be both safe and a have not to be fair (because Mike is such a fair person). Ashley was the second have not chosen.

There is an obvious line drawn in the sand when it comes to the judges. Britney and Janelle are working together, and so is Dan and Boogie. It’s still unspoken at this point, but everybody knows. Janelle is seeing through the eyes of Uma Thurman in kill bill right now when it comes to Boogie. She wont stop until she has his head key. Britney and Janelle convince Willie that Frank and Kara need to be put up first.

Live feed and After Dark

  • Ian and Ashley went on a weird “date” set up by the house. Joe used his only worth while talent and made slop pudding and mouse cocktails. Ian used the date as an opportunity to talk game with Ashley, and she used it as an opportunity to play coy.
  • Janelle and Britney spend most of their free time drilling game into Willie’s extremely thick skull because he doesn’t seem to understand simple things. Must be the Louisiana air.
  • JoJo and Ian seem to be the house guests driving everyone to equal insanity. JoJo talks non stop about herself and how hot she is. Ian is pompous and in your face. He’s also just generally weird.

Big Brother is watching, and so am I.

I’ve already made it perfectly clear in my previous post that I’ve never been really big on summer. The heat is exhausting, and the mosquitoes flock to me like I have sugar running through my blood. I forgot to mention that there is one thing, however, that I am EXTREMELY big on during this time of year. That my friends is Big Brother. I could easily be considered a Big Brother “super fan”. I am to Big Brother as the “claymates” are to Mr. Aiken. I’ve been watching since I was a child, and I don’t plan on stopping until CBS decides to pull the plug.

The 14th season of Big Brother kicked off last night in a big way. The most exciting thing about a new Big Brother season is finding out the new maniacal, evil twist that CBS has decided to pull on these poor pedestrians. This year they actually got pretty lucky. 4 of the best players of all time join the house guests, not to compete, but to coach them into making it to the end.

Here is the rundown on the new players…

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  • Wil Heuser (token southern gay): Will is a 24 year old Marketing Consultant. He’s had mediocre youtube fame for making “funny” youtube videos (I’m using the word funny extremely loosely). He’s has a huge personality, and is probably gonna play more of a social game than a physical one. He also has a weave. Just throwing that out there.

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  • Sean Meaney (token douche): Sean is a house flipper/ real estate agent/ model/ ultimate douche. He’s the guy that you can pretty much bank on having an obnoxious “showmance”. He’s good looking, and he knows it. I can see him playing a lesser version of Jessie’s game. Flirt with all the girls in the house, and then turn them against each other so their ultimate goal is to keep him in the house. He’ll probably shine in physical competitions that involve his shirt being off.
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  • Kara Monaco (token playmate): Kara is the only cast mate that hasn’t really stood out to me yet. So far the only thing I really know about her is that she likes bikinis and she was in Playboy in 2006 as Playmate of the Year. She’s quiet, but I can see her really becoming outspoken once she opens up and becomes comfortable. Social game is definitely going to be this girls strong point, she doesn’t seem very athletic.

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  • JoJo Spatafora (token Staten Island girl): JoJo is a loudmouthed, outspoken, hot tempered bartender from New York (and she loves for it to be known). JoJo is not only in the Big Brother house to win money. She wants to find love, get drunk, and apparently talk about how hard her life has been. I like JoJo, and I think she will be really entertaining. She was drinking chardonnay straight from the bottle the first night in the house, you can’t really go wrong with that.

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  • Jodi Rollins (token nonathletic black girl): Jodi is a newlywed from Colorado, and works as a server. She’s a Big Brother super fan, and has been watching the show since season 1 (I pretty much love anyone with that trait). She’s outspoken, opinionated, and seems like a really nice person in general.

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  • Jenn Arroyo (token punk rock girl): Jenn is a 37 year old bass player in an all girls punk rock band. She’s from Brooklyn, NY, and she loves to talk about it. She doesn’t seem like a very dramatic person, but at the same time would totally stand her ground in any sort of confrontation. Jenn doesn’t seem very athletic, and the house guests already seem really comfortable talking to her, I’m sensing awesome social game.

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  • Ian Terry (token nerd): Ian is a 21 year old engineering student from Pittsburgh. He’s one of the most stereotypical nerds that I’ve ever seen in real life. This kid looks like he’s straight out of a John Hughes film. Thick framed glasses, shaky prepubescent voice, and interest in science…it’s almost too good to be true. Like most Big Brother nerds, he plans on using science and “his brain” to win the game. It goes without saying that Ian is not the most athletic person in the house, so It will be interesting to see how far he goes, just based on his knowledge of the periodic table.

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  • Frank Eudy (token surfer): Frank is an unemployed surfer from Florida, and I consider someone like him to be a Big Brother triple threat. He’s good looking, extremely athletic, and has an awesome personality. He’s sort of the poster child for someone with the ability to win this game. If they don’t get him out of the house early, I can see him going all the way

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  • Danielle Murphree (token southern bell): Danielle is a 23 year old nurse from Alabama. She is about as “down south” as you can get. She’s not so much southern in an endearing Jordan way, think more along the lines of pageant obnoxious. Her strategy in the house is to flirt, and lay out. This girl has floater written all over her. In the words of Rachel Reilly, this girl should probably grab a life vest.

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  • Ashley Loco (token ditzy blonde): Ashley is a Traveling Spray Tan Specialist (yes, I’m being serious) from Hollywood. She too fits into her stereotype extremely well. She’s blond, flighty, ditzy, and seems to cry a lot. I doubt she’ll make a huge impact in the house game wise. I’m sure she’ll have some really funny youtube mash-ups made of her later on tho.

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Willie Hantz (token manly man): Willie is a 34 year old tankerman from Louisiana (I’m not making this stuff up). There is always that one cast member who comes into the house with the a secret. Sometimes its a secret so big that it pretty much becomes a houseguest itself (Matt from season 11 and his not so sick wife). Wllie has taken that roll this season. His brother is Russell Hantz from survivor, and he apparently doesn’t want anyone to know. The only problem is that they look exactly alike, have the same voice, come from the same town, and have the same last name (talk about an epic fail). Not to mention survivor is on CBS, the same network as Big Brother. This guy obviously didn’t think this one through. His game plan is to create drama in the house and stir up trouble. The problem with that is that Willie doesn’t seem to be the brightest person in the world, I can see this going horribly wrong for him.

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  • Joe Arvin (token house dad): Joe is a 41 year old chef living in Indiana. So far he’s made little to no impact in the house at all, and the house guests seem to forget that he’s even there. Mind you, it is only the first week, things can always change. He prides himself on being able to cook for everyone, yet he made spaghetti and macaroni for dinner the first night?

As I said earlier, there are 4 returning cast members living in the house solely to mentor the house guests. We’ve learned that the 4 “best players of the past” are…

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  • MIke “Boogie” (season 2, and All Stars): Mike’s team consists of FrankJenn, and Ian
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  • Britney Haynes (season 12): Britney’s team consists of WillieShane, and JoJo
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  • Dan Gheesling (Big Brother 10 winner): Dan’s team consists of KaraDanielle, and Jodi
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  • Janelle Pierzina (Big Brother fan favorite, 3rd time in house): Janelle’s team consists of WilJoe, and Ashley

CBS wasted no time throwing them into their first HOH competition. It involved them jumping from giant oversized bed to giant oversized bed, trying to stay on and collect Teddy Bears. In the end Willie won the first BB14 HOH, and Jodie ended up getting the boot. How cruel of CBS to only let her be on the show for a half hour, tough break!
As expected, the house guests spent most of the night whispering and chirping in Willie’s ear about forming secret alliances. He seems to not realize that winning the first HOH of the season is more of a curse than a badge of honor. It pretty much means you have the first target on your back.